Don't Let Others Give You Excuses

If you've been reading this blog at all, you may see from my words that I want to lose about 15 pounds but if you look closer, you may think that my actions aren't reflecting my intentions. That is correct.

I want to lose weight, I know how to lose weight, I've done it before but I am currently dealing with some new challenges that I've never faced before. Really it's just one challenge but there are many facets to it. My challenge? My new husband. This may seem funny at first but the influence of another person in your life may have impacts you would never expect. I am just about a year into my marriage and I'm starting to recognize some of the obstacles I face or, differences in behaviors I need to adapt to in order to maintain my happiness, and weight loss goals. For instance, here are a few of the new behaviors/habits that I am living with that I find to be challenging to my weight loss efforts:

  • more junk food in the house
  • less physical activity
  • food "rewards"
  • praise for the body I'm not happy with
  • jealousy

I've always had a tendancy to gain weight in a new relationship. Especially during the first year when you are still learning about your partner's habits, establishing lines of communication, and integrating your lifestyles. I typically find that I am more adaptable and take on the eating and entertainment habits of the other person. When I live alone, my default behaviors revolve around outdoor activities like hiking and biking, I don't watch TV (or even own one) and an evening at home will typically involve cleaning the house. Our current routine involves a lot of dinners with friends, watching a lot of movies, spending very little time outdoors, and plenty of good food and wine. (Read buttery and cheesy food)
As in the past, I'm seeing that I need to do running and gym time in the morning before my spouse gets up. If I wait until after work, it's too late. More often than not, by the end of the work day, he's got something planned for the evening which would put off my working out. I'm also going to have to firm up my resolve when it comes to junk food. When I live alone, I just don't buy it. Now, it's in the house whether I like it or not so I'm going to have to dig in my heels and remind myself that I don't really like sweets all that much. I appreciate that my husband loves me "just the way I am" but now I realize, if that's truly the case, he will love me if I lose 15 pounds too. I'm not happy about my body right now because I have lots of clothes I can't fit into. I need to stop letting my weight be ok just because he's ok with it.

The last one is a whole other ball of wax that will take longer to work out but I'm confident will be ok in the end. I'm positive one of the reason's my husband is alright with with me "having some meat on my bones" as he puts it, is because he doesn't want anyone else to be attracted to me. When I think about this it's just plain silly and I'm sure it will go away after we've had more time to solidify our relationship.

Intentional or not, he's not helping me in my weight loss. It's very easy for me to go with it and use his behavior as an excuse to let myself go. What I see when I really look at the situation is that I'm not ok with it and really, no one can change me but me. But that's always been the case. It's time (again) for me to accept responsibility for my actions and produce the results I want to see.

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